literature

every chance i didn't take I

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SuddenlyAutumn's avatar
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Literature Text

your hand in mine as you prayed
to a god who might save you.
safety on.
your suicide note and the words
to your father, brothers, oh christ,
your mother.
my tears on your shirt as i
sobbed for everything i had lost
and the god who did not hear me.
the river stones under my legs and
the lights on the bridge in the night.
bruises on my shoulders and i hope
they never fade.

your big truck and the scent of
jasmine and the moment i realized
i was happy.
hand out the window
full of mississippi wind.
hair wild and skin stung.
you are beautiful
and i was beautiful for you.

your legs between my knees
as we flew down memphis streets.
the roar of your motorcycle and my smile
that was wider than the open highway.
the wind that took my blue dress
as i watched you lift the gun
hand steady.
safety off.
ready, aim, trigger.
bang.
5/19/13: there are too many things crashing in around me like every chance i didn't take. i wanted to tell you that you are precious, you are loved, i wanted to reach in with both fists and tear out the darkness. i would slice out my own skin if it would show you that you are loved, and you belong here, here in the light. that it shines out of you, even in the darkness.

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companion to part two, moved from journal. i promise i'll write you some love songs next, but right now i got it on my mind to tell y'all some stories about the things i'll always regret.
© 2014 - 2024 SuddenlyAutumn
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VMP1R3's avatar
Haunting; reminding me what its like to be human. I love this.