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every chance i didn't take Iyour hand in mine as you prayed
to a god who might save you.
your suicide note and the words
to your father, brothers, oh christ,
my tears on your shirt as i
sobbed for everything i had lost
and the god who did not hear me.
the river stones under my legs and
the lights on the bridge in the night.
bruises on my shoulders and i hope
they never fade.
your big truck and the scent of
jasmine and the moment i realized
i was happy.
hand out the window
full of mississippi wind.
hair wild and skin stung.
you are beautiful
and i was beautiful for you.
your legs between my knees
as we flew down memphis streets.
the roar of your motorcycle and my smile
that was wider than the open highway.
the wind that took my blue dress
as i watched you lift the gun
ready, aim, trigger.
someday i will cut my hairsomeday i will cut my hair,
let the dresser do her worst
will watch the ends go first, light
from holding all of the sun, hear the
sharpness of the shears, will feel
buoyant, and alright
and leave the dark waves behind --
someday i will bind my hands
with golden bands, will let a
man lace his fingers
through the spaces between mine,
palm to palm, squeezing tight
like a promise kept
but not yet, not yet -
for now i will spread my
fragmentdo you ever see someone broken and think
i could fix you, i could fix you,
i could fix you gently
in the places that you hurt
do you ever see a pane of glass letting
the day in or keeping out the night
and think, i could break you
i could break you, i could smash
straight through you with these
awful hands of mine
do you ever see someone leaving
and think, you should stay you
should stay, you should stay, you
should moor your ship in this moment
for as long as we both shall live
do you ever see someone glancing up from
the sidewalk and think, you should run
you should run, you should run,
oh girl, he's going to get you
the future was our skin
and now we don't dream anymore.
it's the late kind of light that feels
like an ending; the dog days are
slumbering on our font porch, but
they know that autumn is coming
and one morning not far from now
they'll wake up in the blueshadow dawn
i'm pouring blood on a dead faith
rattling drawers full of your lies
guilt and dried leaves crackling
against the wood.
and whether or not i can explain it
i think this is going to haunt us both;
your ghost has already become my shadow
and i swear someday you are going to
turn around and see mine sitting
cross-legged on your floor,
wearing that blue dress you always
loved, asking why you never
could see me until it was
every chance i didn't take IIYou tell him about your cancer on a Sunday,
in the shower of all places, in between brunch plans
and speculations about whether or not the weather
will ever get any colder - hasn't it been the strangest November?
Just the strangest.
You casually mention that somewhere
deep in the secret space between your hips
your own cells are proliferating uncontrollably,
whispering treason and passing down forgeries,
teaching each other the steps of mitosis with alarming intent.
You don't miss a beat as you drop survival percentages
mixed in with tomorrow's rain forecast
and predictions about the game later that afternoon -
easy as breathing, even as counterfeit armies
shred through the soft tissue just below
his favorite place on your spine.
And as you stand there
calmly making conversation
and sharing the last of the soap,
he watches the water
run quiet rivers
through your hair.
ephemerisi was a stargazer under new constellations, quiet
and dark below your october skies. the first rains of
the season sang tiny rivers against your window and
i shivered with the knowledge that tomorrow, the world
would never be quite as warm again. i arched my back
under the meteor shower of your kisses, feeling the
burn of their ice tails searing the curve of my neck,
and dug my fingernails into your shoulders to keep
myself from falling straight into the moonless night.
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye; hello.
Salt on the streets and a bite in the wind to remind me that leaving - no matter where or who - will always make you ache for the pieces you are leaving behind.
Just yesterday I woke up thousands of miles away with a promise of snow out the window and your body warm beneath the sheets, and felt more at home than I have in a long, long time.
I keep thinking that maybe if I sit very still, time will pass me by, and forget to take me with it.
I want too much.
Blue Monday - blue like the sky under airplane wings, like the thousands of miles between us.
I can't stop singing or writing, wringing art from a stone.
I can't believe it's been one week since I kissed a blue-eyed 2014 hello, walked out into the cold night, brave as a sunrise, your hand held tightly in mine.
I met a boy in (Vegas, Austin, Memphis, Mississippi, Houston, New York); a boy from (Jamestown, Amarillo, C
if i am ever lost, look for me in grand central station. i'll be whispering into the arches or searching the constellation'd ceiling for that one red tile, just like you taught me, our dark hair thrown back like children. i'll be resting my bones under vaulted ceilings on the cool marble, eyes always on the arrivals, hoping that one day i might see your name.
if i am ever lost, look for me in central park. find me in the green heart of the steel city, soft wood and cold stones. i'll be talking to the homeless man who blessed me as i passed, asking him to teach me what it feels like to lose everything.
if i am ever lost, look for me in the place where the trains sleep. i'll be laying between the trestles in a bed of day-old newspapers and discarded metro tickets, listening to their dreams about journeys with no end, travelers with no destination.
How NOT to treat someone with Depression. 1. If they trust you enough to let you in, don't grab their wrists, and twist their arm to find the scars.
Not everyone cuts.
It's not a measure of your pain.
It's an addiction.
They will probably have other,
more subtle addictions invisible to your judging eyes.
2. Don't say you'll be there for them, don't lie.
Cause' we are naive, broken little things.
Our minds glass globes shattered in their flurries.
Our hearts bitten and rotten.
So don't give us those stomach-twisting smile, say a word and move on.
We don't want to bother you, we'll stand there. Silent in awe of your ease at life.
3. Don't tell us it could get worse, or to get over it.
So maybe we are actually selfish.
Maybe we actually aren't just under the weather, having a bad day.
Maybe you have no clue how hard we try everyday to get up,
put on our slacks and face you in the war paint of prozac.
If we are a "weight on your shoulders" then please leave
An Open Letter to the Minecraft Team Dear Minecraft Team at Mojang,
Wow, you guys must be drowning in hate mail right now, huh? Taking away people getting perks after donating to servers, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? Why would you want everybody to have an “equal experience” in Minecraft? Haven’t you ever been on a multiplayer game before? Haven’t you ever met that loud 5-year-old kid who laughs in a high-pitched squeak everytime he shoots you with the best gun in the entire stupid game that Daddy unlocked for the spoiled little brat? You obviously haven’t, but let me speak for everyone who has. That feeling is terrible, and it’s worth donating money to get a perk so you can show this kid who’s the boss. Or you can have some psycho track his IP and show up at his house with a baseball bat. Don’t doubt me, I’ve heard that it actually happened to somebody. You'll be doing a public service and helping the kid out.
Uncertain fateI wish there'd be words to tell you how much you mesmerize me, your whole existence takes me away into another dimension ... Yet in my self-created delirium I know you're not real, not from this world. Are you? Or are you just a dream, to good to be true?
You're in every step I take, every thought I make, my one and only, yet just a leaf in the storm of my life I will never reach and catch. Maybe I'll touch you for a moment but then we'll already have to go separate ways again ...
Your voice is the only cure for my insane, broken, crooked mind, the glue that keeps my brain from falling into pieces, the tranquilizer for my rages, tissue for my tears.
I see you. It almost seems like in another lifetime when I was so much younger ... you were already there. A mere scheme of imagination in a crazy head never to come true, but you were it. I just didn't know it yet.
I want you more than you'll ever know. Already now, my sleep is all yours, my nights gone, washed away in oblivion, tryi
An Open Letter to my Sixth-Grade TeacherDear My Sixth Grade Teacher,
Staten The Gargoyle Rants: Yahoo And Yahoo Sign upHello, my Creatures Of The Night. Tis I, your Lord Of Darkness and Savior Of Everything Stupid, Staten The Gargoyle. So, Yahoo, We meet at last. your user friendly antics and your easy to use Emailing system have touched the hearts of many. Your logos and news feeds intrigue us as well as your advertisements. But alas, as the years go by, so does your masculinity.
The '13 and '14 versions of this 'easy and fun' website is nothing but the word 'fun'. Since when the fuck do you use your phone number to get a code to verify your email? It's like you want to send a cute photo of your kitten to your best friend from Puerto Rico, You gotta put your phone number just to send the damn thing!
What were they fucking thinking!?! My biggest complaint is the recycling account system. You haven't been on Yahoo for 2 weeks because you got something better to do with your life. You finally get on your email account and check your mail. And BOOM! your account has been recycled d
Introducing....Myself on hereHi! I'm AmyJ!! I'll be writing stories and submitting art like any other deviantart person!
I don't have any other words to say but....thank you if ya like my things! Anyways, bai and have a great life! (It's possible!)
Boy with a toyBasically I was always a boy with a toy. I am a good technician of 3dsmax and Vray at most, btu I am not a mature minded artist, or graphic designer with a killer punch.
The best industry for me is perhaps digital labour or game industry or any guided graphical creations. Someone please notice this, and look for me a way to utilise myself.
Understood Nowto expect lou from any one specific girl is a useless ask...it seems now.
They perch where they want to perch. They wake what they deserve. They function with basic instinct, not judging the needful always. I have been torturing myself, its not them I need..I need a life, work and world and more same kind friends to mingle with...girl is only a secondary thing in a male's life.
wrapped in your name is a hundred games of hide and seek, afternoon tea parties, and the squiggles of letters as i taught you to read goodnight moon and if you give a mouse a cookie. we were ten dirtstained fingers, one broken arm, four firefly eyes, two dark heads bowed as if in prayer over your broken-syllabled benediction.
every shopping cart is a cage from when we were wolves caught in the grocery store, growling at strangers until our mother made us get out and walk. the nightlight still plugged into the corner socket glows with every breath you took as you fell asleep when they moved your crib into my room.
one day at school they told you the rainforests were disappearing, and you hid in your bunkbed and cried for hours. when i finally found you, you made me promise we would both give our entire allowance to protect the trees. we washed our hands and said grace and ate dinner, and you never stopped caring about beautiful things.
i taught you how to read, and
what love is not.it was a s l o p p y first kiss where
my drunk lips fumbled against yours.
the dull thwack of my heart,
locked behind curved ribs
cleared my groggy brain,
clouded with lustful premonitions.
it was an e l e c t r i f y i n g first kiss where
you entwined your hands in my hair.
your mouth encompassed mine and
my breath became lost in the steady
of your chest.
it was a s h y first kiss where
i pulled away before you could explore.
your tongue grazed my teeth,
searching for a way past the ivory gates.
i dug my finger into the stubble along your jaw,
my nail lulling your carnal desires.
it was my first kiss with you.
Keep in Touch!
Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More