your hand in mine as you prayed
to a god who might save you.
safety on.
your suicide note and the words
to your father, brothers, lover.
your mother.
my tears on your shirt as i
sobbed for everything i had lost
and the god who did not hear me.
the river stones under my legs and
the lights on the bridge in the night.
bruises on my shoulders and i hope
they never fade.

your big truck and the scent of
jasmine and the moment i realized
i was happy.
hand out the window
full of mississippi wind.
hair wild and skin stung.
you are beautiful
and i was beautiful for you.

your legs between my knees
as we flew down memphis streets.
the roar of your bike and the smile
that was wider than the open highway.
the wind that took my blue dress
as i watched you lift the gun
hand steady.
safety off.
ready, aim, trigger.
bang.